Saturday, July 12, 2014

My Writing Process


I’m plugging away at the next Grit and Grace Mystery, "Murder Abominable," and thought I might give any would-be authors out there some insight into my process. The first passage below is a rough draft, the second is an edit, possibly the final edit. In any case, notice the &&& marking that I place in my rough draft to mark spots that need to be “fixed.” Sometimes I leave notes to myself to help me remember what I want to do. In this case the &&& is followed by the note (Make this more immediate.) In other words, bring the scene closer to the reader. Bring the reader into the scene. I believe I have achieved that goal. Read both passages to see if you agree.

ROUGH DRAFT
“But I’m telling you, Franklin, it’s illegal.” Rake Cradoc, Jr. of Cradoc and Cradoc Attorneys at Law, clung to his phone with white knuckles. “You can’t charge that kind of interest in this state.”
Franklin Stewart answered evenly, “You set it up yourself, Rake. We’re off shore. State laws can’t touch me.”
“But the Feds are sniffing around. They are going to trace the money back to Golden Goose and from Golden Goose to you. I don’t know how much longer that ruse in the Bahamas is going to hold up.”
“It will hold up as long as I remain mindful. I’m controlling my own destiny. I can’t stop living my destiny because I might be breaking a few tax laws.”
“What if your destiny is prison, Franklin?”
“What a negative way of thinking, Rake. You aren’t living in the moment. You aren’t being mindful of your present state of being.”
“Listen, Franklin.” Rake raised his voice and resorted to biting humor. “Exorbitant interest is illegal in your present state of being.”
“Rake, Rake.” Franklin clucked. “Have you even started to read that book I gave you?”

&&&(make this more immediate)

Rake had tried. Science of Mind, advocated, as far as Rake could make out, plain old positive thinking. But there was a side order of access to the Infinite—access obtained with “no system of sin and punishment, no rule of conduct, no profession of faith.” Rake was intrigued; he was not a religious man. On the other hand, if, as he suspected, there really was an “Infinite Intelligence,” he was pretty sure he was not, as the book seemed to claim, it. Nor did he believe that his inmost being harbored that Intelligence. But the chapter that claimed every human on the planet “shares unlimited access to the infinite curative power of the universe,” caused him to throw the book across the room. “That power,” he had read, “is obedient to our expectations, it manifests exactly as we think and believe.” In other words, Science of Mind stated that anyone could, with the proper thought processes, control the universe. "Disease is not a truth,” the author claimed. “The truths within Infinite Intelligence include health, abundance, security, love, peace, and happiness - all of which make up our natural state. Anyone, by claiming those truths and acting confidently on them, can bring them into manifestation.” Anyone, Rake knew, did not include the author, Earnest Holmes, whose natural state at the moment was, dead.

 
REVISED VERSION
“But I’m telling you, Franklin, it’s illegal.” Rake Cradoc, Jr. of Cradoc and Cradoc Attorneys at Law, clung to his phone with white knuckles. “You can’t charge that kind of interest in this state.”
Franklin Stewart answered evenly, “You set it up yourself, Rake. We’re off shore. State laws can’t touch me.”
“But the Feds are sniffing around. They are going to trace the money back to Golden Goose and from Golden Goose to you. I don’t know how much longer that ruse in the Bahamas is going to hold up.”
“It will hold up as long as I remain mindful. I’m controlling my own destiny. I can’t stop living my destiny because I might be breaking a few tax laws.”
“What if your destiny is prison, Franklin?”
“What a negative way of thinking, Rake. You aren’t living in the moment. You aren’t being mindful of your present state of being.”
“Listen, Franklin.” Rake raised his voice and resorted to biting humor. “Exorbitant interest is illegal in your present state of being.”
“Rake, Rake.” Franklin clucked. “Have you even started to read that book I gave you by Earnest Holmes?”
Rake had tried. Science of Mind, as far as he could make out, advocated plain old positive thinking with a tantalizing side order of Divinity—Divinity obtained with “no system of sin and punishment, no rule of conduct, no profession of faith.” He was not a religious man, but he had been intrigued. There might very well be an “Infinite Intelligence,” but Rake was pretty sure he was not, as the book seemed to claim, It. Nor did he believe the book’s claim that “The truths within Infinite Intelligence include health, abundance, security, love, peace, and happiness—all of which make up our natural state. Anyone, by claiming those truths can bring them into manifestation.”
Rake closed down his Kindle app and Googled “Earnest Holmes.” The current natural state of Earnest Holmes was, Rake learned, “dead.” He reopened Science of Mind and punched “delete.”